Get Me Out Of Here

It's almost laughable the way I keep falling head over heels
I would give away my soul to never feel this way again
Why does my happiness hinge on tattered truths?
When will I become ignorant enough to soak myself in bliss?
These questions (among others) will not be answered
They'll burrow deep like a cancer
Stealing years away from my life
Until one day I'll look up and shout
IT'S ALL MY FAULT
But I won't believe it
Neither will those sitting front row to the self-realization that has momentarily occured
And then faded
Like the moon on a starless night
Or the promises you fail to keep
Or the life I fail to lead
Regardless I'm half ashamed
Of the person I was
The person I am
And the person I'm becoming
The trifecta of self-pity and demoralization
I only welcome change because it distracts me from the only thing I truly fear
The only thing that's always constant
Me