A Day For Me

I have never told the truth

In these past three years

I have bottled it all inside

Giving everyone the version they want to hear

The one they want to know me as

I currently sit on the precipice of the moment in my life

Where I decide who I want to be

And take full accountability

For my actions

I have never been more terrified

After I've been digging my grave for so long
I can't remember what it's like to build something

Trust will be shattered

Like mirrors in hallways

I have stumbled upon and into

Realizing the face that looks back at me

Is no longer recognizable

And instead

Is a face I've grown to hate

And yet it spreads

Like a disease

I am not yet prepared for the task

I do not know how this story ends

Which is why I stall so feverishly

Once I begin my story

Like a waterfall I will give in

Caving in to the fears

Allowing myself to be open and vulnerable

That's where the terror comes in

Preparing for my downfall

That's the hardest part